Wedding Feast...

This piece was drawn over felt cloth and decorated using fabric paint...

Autumn Leaves...

Happy New Year to all.. Let this year be bright and colourful as these leaves...
Let this year 2011 bring a properous note to you all..

Happy NewYear 2011...

Friends are Rare and True...! To one such friend...

I was thinking of drawing something to present my friend, who asked me to paint. Then decided to draw flowers. Here is a snap of the finished painting...


After it is framed...


To my friend...!

In Search Of...

I did this glass painting for presenting to my Cousin, on her marriage.

My Fourth Story: Behind Every Person--"A Story of Life"

Hi Friends...
Here I would like to share my fourth story, "A Story Of life...."
I tried writing this in my pass time:) (when am in bench! in response to my friend's request...)
Thanks to my friend for motivating me to write /scribble this:) Which ever you m8 feel right to map with:)

A Story Of Life...

Myself, Harshini……..On the bus Tuticorin to Kerala.

Nice Breeze, waving me, I am leaning beside the opened window in the Bus closing my eyes. It was very romantic. I could hear the most convincing Tamil song “Santhithomae kanaakalil oru muraiya, palamuraiya….Anthivaanil ulaavinom, Athu unakku ninaivillaya….” in my ipod.

Though I was sitting just next to my mom, I was not here completely. My heart took me away, to the one whom I love the most. Yes, To my Guy, Jai, whom I consider my life and the one I wish to keep seeing the whole of my life. It’s him who is deep in my heart. My heart beat counts very rapidly but, time seems to pass very slow. Each second appears to be minute and every minute appears to be an hour. I am counting the hours.

Its 2.30a.m now, Still three more hours to see my darling’s face. I am on the journey to my native Kerala for my cousin’s wedding ceremony. It’s at these functions, we relatives used to meet each other and We have get together. Whenever I close my eyes, I could see his face, which looks like a bright Sun in my heart. I simply love spending time thinking about him and I see him living with me in my toughts.

Untold love gives unbounded happiness always…!

Yeah, I haven’t declared my love for him yet. It’s the usual fear that everyone has. What happens, If he rejects my proposal. So, I waited for the right time to propose him. If else, Decided to keep it as untold love.

He is my relative. He lived in Bangalore with his Parents. We were settled in Tuticorin for my Dad’s job. Being Kerala as our native. We used to meet when we are there for any functions or vacations. We find chance to meet very rarely, may be once in a year.

Its just a cousin sort of relationship I had with him till my schoolings. There was nothing more than this relative sort of feeling for him. There were days, when I used to long for speaking with him. Basically I am a girl who has lots of Shyness, So I have never approached to speak to him. But, used to always look at him silently. He is a silent person and a studious guy, Who keeps on studying his next year syllabus in the annual holidays. Whenever I could recall his childhood, I could remember him sitting with his book, before him.

It was during my high school, I started talking with him. I used to feel happy when I am next to him. Then we slowly shared things, We exchanged our e-mail ids. We used to exchange ideas and views in e-mails. That was the period, internet came into existence for casual use. We used to exchange “Miss you” cards, “Friendship” cards and so on. I could still remember an e-mail from him stating me as “sweet heart”. My heart felt joy, seeing that word. But, I don’t know how to take it. I read the mail again and again. The word “Sweet heart” found to be sweater than ever. Since, It’s him who said that na…!

I finished my higher secondary exams and was waiting for my results. The day came, when results were published. He was doing his First year engineering. He called me up and was asking for my Roll number So that, He could get my results. I gave him my Exam Roll number. I was waiting keeping my hands crossed. In few minutes, he rang me back again. With a pleasant happy voice, He said “Hey Congrats!, You have scored good!” and He told me the marks which I got. It was a decent score. It was that time, I realized he s very lucky for me…

He called me from his hostel. I could hear peoples voice behind him, uttering his name. I could guess that’s his friends. I asked him who are they and why do they call your name?. He replied with low voice, that, They are his friends and they are teasing him for talking with me. Those words gave me joy. I liked people correlating him with me. It gives me pleasure. But, I did not tell him anything then.

After Schooling and I was thinking about my Graduation. But not sure about which field to choose. My Father suggested me Engineering, My mom was suggesting Arts group. My Brother suggested B.Arch. But my wish was doing Fashion Technology. Like everything which happened in my life, this was also done according to my Fathers wish. Engineering won the battle among Arts, B.Arch and Fashion Technology.

Now the next thing is Choosing my discipline in Engineering. But without any problem, We ended up with ECE with few suggestions. At this time my Brother’s marriage got fixed. After which I would be called for counseling dates.

Usually, our side marriages will be done at our native. So, We went to Kerala, my native, before one month of my brothers marriage. Those days had a great impact in my life. I was little bit worried about my Brother’s marriage. Since, I feared that “marriage” will introduce gap between my brother and me. I have seen many guys going away from their parents after marriage. I was very fond of my brother. These thoughts filled in fear in me. I was looking quite upset and feared due to this.

The day of marriage came. People were very busy and in hurry due to marriage works. All the relatives were seen coming to the marriage hall in autos, buses and cars.

I was dressed up neat in Saree. I was standing beside my brother and was also welcoming those who were coming to the marriage. My eyes were searching for him. But, I couldn’t find him. Then, Shilpa, his sister came near me. I welcomed her and enquired her, where her brother is. She said, Only you din see him still, But, My brother saw you and He said me that, you were in Saree.

I was searching him still. Then he came before me with a smiling look. He was looking awesome. I could not take my eyes from him. He came near me, and introduced a guy who was standing beside him. His Friend, Lalit. He introduced me to Lalit. I could not talk to him more since I was busy with marriage works. I moved from him unwillingly.

The marriage got over and almost everyone have finished their lunch. When I was busy with work, I crossed him. I asked him to have his lunch. He said He will wait for me. His care for me impressed me. My other cousins have finished their lunch. But, He waited for me. My brother and sister-in-law were sitting together for their lunch and Next to them, Its me and him.

We had our lunch and was relaxing, talking to each other. Lalit came and was teasing him. Lalit said, Jai was not normal now a days and He feels hungry but he could not eat, He could not sleep and so on. I was also kidding Jai at Lalits comment about him. But, Something pinged me that “is there some inner meaning in Lalit’s statement?” Why should Lalit tell that to me.

We took many photos together. I was really happy spending time with him. We played. We shared thoughts. We were together for five whole days. Five days, those were the happiest memories of my life. They give my life a complete meaning. I cherish them.

He had a pen with him. I thought of having that pen as his memory. So, I took it from his pocket. But, He got it from me back stating that he would get me a new pen. So, I gave it back to him. In the mean time, I forgot that pen matter.

Then it was the fifth day after my brothers marriage. We were in our relatives home. Everyone was busy with their works. We were seeing photos in the system. I was sitting beside him. He held my hands gently and gave a soothing press. I could not realize whats happening. But I was excited by his touch. I could not give him my hands and at the same time, My heart longed for that. It was just a fraction of minutes. We came back to our senses and I took my hands back out of shyness.

They were about to leave after my brothers marriage. He gifted me a present. I was happy to see his gift box. His first gift for me. I opened the gift box. There was a small ceramic doll, its “Love Birds” making love to each other. It’s a cute present.

He took a plain paper and wrote his name and his hostel address where he stays and his friends contact number. He gave me that saying that, “this is my contact number, call me when you are free”.

They were packing up the things. I felt heard at the bottom of my heart. I felt like asking him not to go. But, no words. He too felt upset upon moving to Bangalore. I was feeling like crying and tears came down my eyes. Everyone was inside the home. I was standing in the balcony to send them off. He and his parents were started and He was seeing me turning around till he crossed the entire road. He would have seen atleast seven to eight times before the end of that road.

I could feel his love in his eyes. I felt his love in those five days in which we were together. I was missing him more for the first time in my life. The marriage photos came. Every one were very eager to see how they look in the photos. But, my eyes searched for him in the photos. I steeled one of his photo and kept it in my bag without anyone’s knowledge.

It was during that time, I realized that the feelings that I have for him is not jus friendship, Its even more than that. Its called Love. Yes “I LOVE HIM”.

After I reached Tuticorin, I got a call from his house. His mom spoke to me, Then I talked with his Sister and Then I asked her sister about him “Where s your brother?”. She handed over the phone to him. While He was speaking, He lowered his voice and said me that, He is sorry for not giving me the pen which I wished for. Because, People used to say that, presenting pen, would destroy the relationship.

I was very happy that he is much concerned about our relationship. His each move made me feel that He likes me very much. My love towards him started growing more and more.

I was waiting for my counseling. It was one day more for my counseling.

That day, He called me up. He and his mom were speaking to me over phone. They suggested me for taking up the Course in the college where, He s studying. I was also interested to get into his college. But, my mom refused it. Since, If I take his college then I have to stay far away from home and should be in hostel.

So, I chose a college which is near our place and stayed in hostel. Since, travelling hour ll be three hours. It was during my stay at Hostel, my feelings towards him became more and more strong. I used to call him daily. I used to mail him. Even If I fail to call him, He used to scold me for not calling. The day without speaking to him went horrible. I used to send him cards and gifts from my hostel to his place. The care and affection he had for me, took him more close to my heart.

Days passed, We were over phone for hours and hours. I used to call him almost everyday. Used to spend time standing in PCO queue. Posting letters to him became usual. Exchanging mails happened often. My love towards him became more and more. I started believing He is also in love with me. But that thought was more pronounced in my heart. Days passed talking with each other and night passed meeting him in dreams. We met once in every year.

One day, I called him from a phone booth…

“Hi Jai, How are you?”
“Hmmm…I am fine Sharmili, How are you?”
“Fine. Where are you now?”
“In my friend’s room. They have arranged for a party.”
“Party? What sort of party? Beer?”
“yeah…Its also there…(with giggle)”
“Hey, will you have that?”
“No dear. I wont have that. Only my friends will have.”
“Hey….Really?”
“I swear dear. I am always true to you…”
…………

I am always true to you. Those words were ringing on my head and heart.. I was really happy to hear those words from him. They seem to have more meaning in them.

Slowly, I became an addict to him. I could not stay without talking with him. I started realizing what I am doing. Though, I felt happy being with him, My brain said, I should not do this, Since, I was brought up in an environment that, “LOVE” before marriage is not permitted. He was also brought up in the similar environment. So, I tried being without him. I reduced calling him. I started avoiding him.

That’s the great mistake, I did.

“The rubber band stretched over a paper, when released, gets propelled with maximum force. The spring when pressed more and more, will ping higher and higher”.

The more I tried to forget him, the more I started to think him. I became very mad about him.

My second year. I came to know from my parents that we have a function at our native. The next thought which came to my mind was Jai. He is in his third year. He ll also be coming to this function. I started concentrating on my looks. How to dress on the day of the function. I was doing facial packs. All I had in my mind was, I must look good to Jai.

The day came and we were at the function hall. The place was very crowded. Everyone welcomed and It was talks all over. I was searching for Jai around. I looked a full view through out the hall. But I could not find him any where.

I lowered my eyes with disappointment. I could hear Shilpa’s voice from behind. It’s She. Next to her was Jai. I lowered my face out of shyness. But he was not found much happier.

I was puzzled behind the reason for his unhappiness. I approached him inorder to ask him the reason for his dullness. But he avoided me. He was moving away from me. Whatever He talked to me was just a formality talks. I could not understand the reason behind that. I tried making him tell the reason for his behaviour, But of no use. He was avoiding me. I could barely find that. He has changed a lot.

I was searching for the right time to talk with him. It was when He entered the kitchen for getting some drinking water to his mom. I followed him. No one was around him. I realized that this would be the exact time to ask him for the reason.

I started asking him.

“Jai, What’s wrong with you?”
“what?”
“Jai, Don’t pretend as if you don’t know anything. You were not as usual”
“Oh, Is it so?”
“Yes”
“But, I am normal”
“You have changed a lot Jai”
“May be!”,uttering this, he left the place. And I could not tell anything more.

I don’t know what to do. But I was sure that He started to avoid me for some reason. The function was over and Everyone departed bidding farewell. His family also started and He too went with them.

Exactly like the last time, I was standing in the balcony. They left my uncles house gate. I was seeing from the balcony. He did’nt turn to see me this time. I was longing to see his face. But He left without turning.

According to Jai:

He too started liking me a lot. He too has the same fear in him. If this is love, will the parents accept? So He started avoiding me. He does not want to induce any Expectations in me. Due to this Love, there must not arise any disputes in our family relationships. We are relatives and We will be forced to meet in future. If any undesirable things happen between us, then it wont be pleasant to even face each other. Moreover, Ours is a community in which LOVE before marriage is considered a sin. He too has a younger sister, If he gets love marriage then obviously, People will hesitate to choose his sister as their daughter-in-law.

We too started from my native. I returned back to Tuticorin with the heart full of burden.

I tried calling him. But, no reply from the other-side. Gradually, There was a gap between us. Mails got reduced, phone calls diminished, no letters. But still, I was thinking about him. He was in my heart. I started living with him. I loved him more and more. It never diminished. The nights went weeping. The pillow became my best friend. Since, Only, it knew my sorrows.

Thinking about these, tears came out from my eyes. I whispered myself, “I love you, Jai”. I wish to be with you. I would like to spend my life with you. I should rest on your shoulders. Should sleep seeing you, should take care of you, Should share your happiness and sadness, should give you joy and happiness. With my tears dropping on my hands, I realized I am travelling in bus.

Now Its 5.00a.m. Going to reach my native. Still only half an hour more.

Its 5.30a.m. We got down from the bus. The car waited at the bus stand to pick us. We got into it and In another 15 mins we reached my uncle’s house. Everyone greeted us and gave us a warm welcome.

My uncle came near me, he was talking to me.

“Harshini, How are you my child?”
“Mama, I am fine”
“You are in which year?”
“Third year, Mama”
“How is your studies going on?”
“Its going fine mama.”
“Oh good dear, Have you got any placements?”
“Yes, TCS”
“Congrats dear”

While talking, My aunt was calling him from inside for a help. He went off. I was searching for Jai. I was going around the house. But He s not there. I asked my ammachi about Jai’s family. She replied they are on the way and they ll come in another one hour.

Within that I refreshed myself and had my breakfast. I was starring at the gate for their arrival. I was waiting for the moment to come. My mom called me to help them at kitchen. As I was helping them in cutting vegetables, I could hear the sound of the Ambassador outside our house.

I rushed out to see who’s that. I left everything as it is and was at the front door. The cars front door opened, It was him. I was very happy seeing him. I could feel thousand butterflies flying around inside my stomach. What a nice feeling It is.

This time, He greeted everyone and also me as I was standing with others. I was just gazing at him. The day went nice. The function was almost over. We had rare conversation. Just one or two.

Everyone was having their dinner. It was time, everyone will start to their place. I was very much worried that He dint talk to me.

Everytime, I used to compromise myself, by saying “He likes me”. And this time, “Words play much less role, when there is love” suits me well to compromise on.

We started from our native. With the satisfaction that I have seen him, I too started. After reaching Tuticorin, I could not concentrate on my studies. It was his thoughts that come to my mind. I decided to tell him, what I feel.

So, I made up my mind and reached the internet café near by. I opened my mail box and composed a mail. I wrote the text, stating my love for him. And before I could bag my thoughts back, I pressed the “send” button.

I could see, “Your message has been sent”. It has reached his mail box.

After two days, I opened my mail. I found his name in my inbox. My hands rushed to that. When I opened, it was a long text message.

Dear Harshini,

Frankly speaking, don’t be silly. You are my relative. Your parents have good respect on me. Even your brother has good thought about me. My parents believe me a lot. I wish not to loose these things. I don’t want to spoil such a good name of mine. Lets be jus good friends and only friends. There is no place for love in my life. I can never think about love at any cost. You concentrate on your studies and your career.

I will not avoid you for this. Lets be GOOD FRIENDS and just friends.

All the best!
Yours loving
Jai.

As I found this mail, Tears flowed out from my eyes. Though I expected this from him, I could not digest this. The one, whom I love has rejected me.

According to me, Love must be mutual. It won’t come by forcing or compelling. Its something magical and should be felt from with-in.

I didn’t talk to him then. According to him, We must be friends. And He has told his sister that “He likes me. But, This love would spoil our families good terms” So let it not be a successful one.

He also told me when I called him through phone, “He needs me to marry some one else”

“Jai, you use to talk to me for hours and hours. I used to stand in long PCO queues, wait for hours and will contact you in your friends number. But now…” I paused.
I continued, “Now we have mobiles in our own, but could not speak to each other”

“yeah, That day, There s nothing between us and also We din have mobile. But today, We both have mobile and you are in love”

“Wont you ever talk to me again, Jai?”
“I will, You get engaged with a bridegroom whom your parents choose. I will speak to you then. My happiness is you must forget me and get married to another guy, according to your parents wish”

His words pronounced his hatred towards me. He started not to attend my calls. Not even replying my message. Slowly I understood, He wishes not to be disturbed by me.

Then I stopped calling him. My parents started seeing alliance. They din ask my opinion. Even If they ask also, My opinion wont sound large before their options.

I didn’t get into any discussions regarding my marriage with my parents. They were seeing horoscopes, Photos, etc. They asked my photo but I was not interested. So they gave one of my recent photograph which was taken casually.

I used to go home daily without any attachment with these marriage proposal. My only faith is in God. He must give me strengths to accept anything that happen. I made up my mind such that I must be ready to accept anything that will happen.

“Only the Life lived for others is the life worthwhile.”

Yeah, If I get married, Jai will be happy. My parents will be happy. I must change my mind to satisfy the one who is going to own me, My Husband.

“Lives of many People ends the same way. They love a person, But accept things that come their way. Many girls cry within themselves. Their tears are left unanswered. Their sadness are known only to the pillow, Their best friend. Their love left without being reciprocated.”

“Deep within each person, there is a love. Either told or un-told. Single sided or double sided. It will be either success or a failure. Some accept it and some don’t.”

Sorry All

Hi Friends,
Sorry for not posting these many days..!
I was now into my career. Jus now finished my training and got my posting.
And Thats the reason behind my not posting.
I guess, Here after I could spend some of my time in this.
I welcome you all to share your comments...!

My Brush Stand...!

This is my brush holder, which i created recently....This has two identical golden fishes painted on two pieces of charts....and the center holder is made of colour chart of greater thickness....

I made a round holder using the thicker chart piece..and to decorate it, I pasted the two cut pieces of drawn fishes on the either side of the holder....